Read the following essay and answer the question, “What do you do and why?”
Feel free to submit your essay below for review or contribute your thoughts on other essays posted. Both activities will help you prepare for the exam and the more you contribute, the more you will get out of this section.
ESSAY PROMPT
Cheating
You and a friend are applying to a prestigious school which requires applicants undergo both an interview and an aptitude test. You know your friend is an excellent candidate and outgoing interview subject. She would do well at the school and likely better than most. However, your friend is a terrible test taker. She has asked you to let her cheat off you just this once so you both can go to school together. You don’t know anyone else applying to the school and there is almost no chance of getting caught. What do you do and why?
“What do you do and why?”
Your essay should be well-organized and include support from the story for your main ideas.
If commenting on the essays please remember the rules and stick with positive suggestions that can help the author. Focus on the essay structure and quality. The following guidelines are by no means compete, but can serve as a guide for useful suggestions.
- Quality and impact of thesis statement and opening paragraph. This may be the most important paragraph. Does it provide a roadmap for the essay?
- Supporting paragraphs. Do these follow the outline of the 1st paragraph? Do they use explicit examples and not deviate unnecessarily from topic?
- Prose. Are the sentences direct and effective with proper grammar and correct spelling?
- Conclusion. Perhaps the least important paragraph. Does it wrap it all up?
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While going to this school would be fun, the experience would be worthless if I cheated my or my friends way in. I would have a guilty conscious and regret my decision for the next four years. The school is a place for good students not cheaters and liars.
Instead if cheating I would tell my friend before the test date to study a little bit each day. This way we can both still pass the test while keeping our own integrity.
Good message, you could make it lengthier by adding more points like, maybe your taking that acceptance spot from someone else who deserves it more, etc.
That is a great mix of ingredients to form an exceptional intro paragraph(the most important paragraph) and ultimately a fantastic essay! Organize it carefully into your intro paragraph and then follow by adding body and concluding paragraphs.
Here are a couple comments and one possible way I might organize the intro paragraph with these terrific ideas. I like your supporting or scene setting sentence followed by your thesis sentence. I like how you are confident enough to use the conjunction “And” to start the second, thesis, sentence which is perfectly acceptable despite some popular beliefs to the contrary. I’m not sure it is necessary in this case or that I would use it the same way, but it can be used quite effectively at times. I see your next 3 sentences which will form the basis of your body paragraphs as follows. There really isn’t any need for a paragraph break in between these ideas as shown because they are going to form your intro paragraph.
Sentence 1. Principle of school is honesty and integrity. (I would use the next line about “not wanting to get into school that way” as part of your 1st body paragraph instead when outlining and supporting this idea.)
Sentence 2. Experience worthless if I or my friend cheated to get in. (connect to) Feel guilt and regret.
Sentence 3. The school is for good students not cheaters or liars.
Those sentences could form the topic sentences for the 3 body paragraphs and your last lines make an excellent concluding sentence(s) to your intro paragraph.
Good stuff! I think you could easily tweak this just a little to form a great intro paragraph. Add three related body paragraphs and wrap it up with a concluding paragraph to make an excellent 5 paragraph essay. It might be helpful to try doing just that. Good luck.
I redid my essay but it does not say awaiting moderation like last time. Is there somewhere different I must submit it? Thank you.
If you already made an approved submission on the page your comments are likely automatically approved and your essay posted.
While going to this school would be fun, the experience would be worthless if if I cheated me and my friends way in. When everyone talks about how hard they worked to get in I don’t think I would be able to say the same. I would also. It feel as accomplished as the other students who got into this prestigious school. This would cause me to feel like I don’t belong.
I would have a guilty conscious and regret my decision for the next four years. I would constantly think about if I made the wrong decision. If my friend wasn’t ready and begins it fail I would also feel responsible for letting him cheat. I wouldn’t feel accepted in a school if children who don’t cheat.
Finally, this school is a place for honest students not cheaters or liars. I would feel like I broke the foundation if the school. I would feel like rules don’t matter. I would feel like the experience means nothing.
If my friend asked to cheat off of me I would say no. It would cause a lot of trouble for the both of us. Instead of cheating I would tell my friend to study a little bit each day before the test date. This way we can both lass the test while keeping our integrity.
Okay. Good attempt to put together a full 5 paragraph essay and expand each paragraph. I would like to see you tighten up two key things; the grammar and spelling (it looks like someone commented on that already) and the structure of your thesis ideas. For the purposes of this essay, I think you want the structure of ideas and supporting evidence to be so clear and simple the person grading does not have to work hard at all to figure out what you are arguing. Think about how many papers that person has to grade. It will likely be a lot! If they have to work harder on your essay to pull out the main ideas then it will surely come off your grade compared to an essay that seems obvious in its organization.
I’d like to try the following exercise. Reverse engineer the outline from your actual essay. That should be easy for a clear, well written essay.
THESIS PARA-
Thesis: I would not help my friend. (also there should be a comma between “and, even….being caught, I would”
Reason A: not intelligent
Reason B: lose integrity
Reason C: not honest
Those are the foundations of the school.
BODY PARA 1-
Topic Sentence: not intelligent? I don’t see the link to a reason in the 1st paragraph here. You are talking about accomplishment and working hard. What if your 1st sentence after the thesis statement in the opening paragraph stated, “I would lose my sense of accomplishment and belonging if I helped anyone cheat.” Then Body paragraph 1 ties right into this idea introduced in the intro paragraph. By the way, I assume you meant to say, “I would also not feel as accomplished….” Lose the period and the It. They will deduct for such errors and it becomes hard for the reader to interpret what you are really saying. Make it easy for them. Also I do not like starting the sentence with when…”When everyone talks…” Instead, just keep it simple in the active voice. Perhaps it could read, “I would not feel like I worked as hard as everyone else to get accepted.”
BODY PARA 2-
Topic sentence: I would have a guilty conscience and regret my decision. I assume that follows the idea of integrity? I think the link should be more obvious. This paragraph should tie in and build on a reason you present in the opening paragraph. Use the same words or close synonyms for “guilt” and “regret” in the 1st paragraph. Make it a separate sentence even for reason 2. Also, the last line might read, “accepted in a school with children who do not cheat.” In a school if children who don’t cheat doesn’t really make sense.
BODY PARA 3-
Topic sentence: This school is for honest students not cheaters.
This is the strongest link from a body paragraph to the opening paragraph in your essay. It connects the issue of honesty. Unfortunately, your clearest, strongest link should be body paragraph 1. Then 2. Then 3. Too much “I would” “I would” “I would” to start each sentence in this paragraph. Mix it up a little.
CONCLUDING PARA-
Reiterate theme. Good.
You add a little about telling your friend to study each day. Good.
I do not see any of the three reasons other than integrity restated.
Next, I would rewrite your other essay and do two things. One, make sure you write an outline of the 5 paragraph essay to start. Stick to your outline and try not to add sentences or ideas that do not fit the outline. Make sure your links from opening paragraph to body paragraphs are obvious. Two, pay close attention to your spelling and grammar. Wrong words and punctuation errors will cost you on the grading. I hope these suggestions help.
Is the topic the BCA exam? Maybe, but Isn’t it an admissions test not an acceptance test? There are a few spelling errors. Maybe they are just typos like IF for OF or LASS instead of PASS? One word that does need to be changed is CONSCIOUS. Do you really mean guilty CONSCIENCE?
Hello, could you please read this for me and respond. Thank you. and I wrote this in 30 min
First of all, cheating to get into a honorable school would not help me in the future. Cheating is a terrible habit that can develop into lying and even destroying your life. Although cheating may help me get into the school, I would not be able to enjoy the experiences at the school. For example, if I cheated on a test and got amazing remarks. My parents would be very proud of me and might give a gift. If this gift was to be something I had wanted, I would not be able to enjoy it knowing that I cheated to get it. This clearly shows that cheating will not help you in the long run.
Additionally, cheating can backfire as it comes with risk. If my friend did not get into the school, she might go report me for cheating. This would cause me to lose my spot in the school and even worse the trust of the people around me. This would not end well, due to the fact that I would have to adjust to a brand new school after I get kicked out for cheating. This adjustment could take time and could inflict with my academic life. Furthermore, if I was caught cheating, it would be on my record forever. It would never leave and whenever I go somewhere, they will know that this student has cheated. This will effect my chances to advance my education because of an unintelligent mistake. Clearly, cheating has too much risk and I am not ready to take that risk.
Third of all, cheating will leave me with a guilty conscience. This guilty conscience will stay with me whenever I go anywhere. If I go to a relatives house, and they ask me how to get accepted to this prestigious school, I would not be able to respond with any helpful information since I used forbidden tactics in order to get accepted. This would cause me to carry my guilty conscience and be embarrassed at the same time. Clearly, this example shows that cheating will not only affect my social and academic life but as well as my family life.
In conclusion, friendship has great value, but cheating will destroy my honor. By cheating, I will affect my social life by not being able to participate in activities full-heartedly. I will also affect my academic life if I get caught cheating. Lastly, cheating will affect my family life and leave me with a guilty conscience. In summary, although cheating will save my friendship, it is not worth the risk of destroying my integrity.
Wow! You write very quickly. That is a 6 paragraph essay in half the time. Good start. I would take the extra time to lean it out and simplify the message. I would start by working around the 3 body paragraphs because they are the strongest and clearest…3 distinct reasons with good supporting ideas (note on the exam you will likely reply to a story much like the other essay prompts in this section and you will be required to cite specific evidence from the story). They clearly read to me…
BODY 1: Cheating doesn’t pay in the long run
BODY 2: Cheating comes with risk (good point and you are the first to make it. There are other risks even if you don’t get caught immediately)
BODY 3: Guilty conscience
INTRO PARAGRAPH: Your intro paragraph kind of runs into 2 paragraphs with some overlap in idea. Note how both concluding sentences in each para end with virtually the same line, “cheating will never help in the long run.” How about reducing it to 1 para with 3 sentences after the thesis statement that friendship is not worth the costs of cheating?
REASON 1: Cheating is a potentially bad habit and it will not help in the long run (unless you are really certain avoid words like “never”. They are usually unforgiving to your argument.)
REASON 2: Cheating brings risks beyond just getting caught.
REASON 3: I would feel guilty if I cheated
This intro paragraph structure introduces (and mirrors) the reasons presented in the body paragraphs. Make it easy for the reader to follow your points. Think of it like telling a story. Tell the readers what you are going to tell them. Here is what I think. These are the 3 reasons why I think that and I will tell you more about them. Then tell them! Tell more about each reason one at a time starting with your best reason. Lastly, tell them what you told them. Reiterate your reasons and your conclusion.
As for the conclusion, don’t go all the way down the road only to lose the reader at the end. Try not to bring in new points. e.g. You bring up your social life, but that wasn’t really one of your core reasons. Clearly (and often quickly) restate your thesis and three reasons. Don’t get too cute and make the reader confused. Drive home your thesis and arguments.
The above are a couple thoughts on structure. I also would make a few points on grammar and other details to clean up when you edit in the next 30 minutes.
In the 2nd para you state “cheating…destroying your life.” And “not helping you in the long run.” I tend to avoid referring to a general “you” and “yours” which smack of a common sense argument. Who is “you”? The reader? Common sense to you may not be sensible to them and, besides, you are talking mainly about yourself in the para. Why switch to “you”? Later in the essay you say, “they will know I cheated..” Who are they?
Somewhere near the 3rd para you write, “this will effect…” Affect is the verb not effect. Effect is a noun. You use affect correctly later in the essay.
Rather than say, “whenever I go anywhere” why not just say “wherever I go”?
2nd to last para “academic life, but as well as my family life.” Maybe it should just read “but my family as well.”
2nd para – “if I cheated and got amazing (marks not remarks), then my parents might….” Make the two sentences one.
Okay that is a lot to digest, but don’t view it negatively. That is good because you put a lot on paper in a short time. Just focus and clean it up to get a more polished version. After your first cut editing try to put yourself in the shoes of your reader seeing it for the first time. Will the essay be clear and concise to him or her?
“Is my integrity worth my friendship?” This is a question I would ask myself if a friend asked me to cheat on a test in order to help get her into a prestigious school. Friendship has great value to me, but it is not worth my integrity and pride. Cheating starts at a low level and can develop into a terrible habit. By cheating on this one test, I could start cheating on even bigger assessments. Although my friendship may be destroyed cheating is not as valuable as my integrity
First of all, cheating to get into a honorable school would not help me in the future. Cheating is a terrible habit that can develop into lying and can potentially ruin my life. Although cheating may help me get into the school, I would not be able to enjoy the experiences at the school. For example, if I cheated on a test and got amazing marks. My parents would be very proud of me and might give a gift. If this gift was to be something I had wanted, I would not be able to enjoy it knowing that I cheated to get it. This clearly shows that cheating will not help me in the long run.
Additionally, cheating can backfire as it comes with risk. If my friend did not get into the school, she might go report me for cheating. This would cause me to lose my spot in the school and even worse the trust of the people around me. This would not end well, due to the fact that I would have to adjust to a brand new school after I get kicked out for cheating. This adjustment could take time and could inflict with my academic life. Furthermore, if I was caught cheating, it would be on my record forever. It wouldn’t go away and if I plan to continue my education, the school will know that this student has cheated. This will affect my chances to advance my education because of an unintelligent mistake. Clearly, cheating has too much risk and I am not ready to take that risk.
Third of all, cheating will leave me with a guilty conscience. This guilty conscience will stay with me whenever I go anywhere. If I go to a relatives house, and they ask me how to get accepted to this prestigious school, I would not be able to respond with any helpful information since I used forbidden tactics in order to get accepted. This would cause me to carry my guilty conscience and be embarrassed at the same time. Clearly, this example shows that cheating will not only affect my social and academic life but my family as well.
In conclusion, friendship has great value, but cheating will destroy my honor. Cheating is a terrible habit and can develop into something much worse. By cheating, I will affect my academic life if I get caught cheating. Furthermore, cheating will affect my family life and leave me with a guilty conscience. In summary, although cheating will save my friendship, it is not worth the risk of destroying my integrity
Much improved effort zaki.tahir3!! Good job.
This is a lot more concise and on point and definitely structured like a typical 5 paragraph essay. You had a lot of things to work with on your 1st attempt up top, but here you clearly organized it into a stronger argument to make your point. I like your transition words, “additionally” and “third of all” to start the body paragraphs. It clearly lays out the order and essay design for the reader.
I would only point out two things in the structure. Your points are 1. lose integrity 2. risk 3. becomes habit, but I do not see any mention of risk in your introduction paragraph. If risk is worth a full body paragraph then isn’t it also worth a sentence in the intro? You mention integrity twice in the intro and then I do not see integrity in any body paragraph. Given your description in the 3rd body paragraph, I presume that paragraph is relating your guilty conscience to your loss of integrity and pride. Maybe in the last sentence use the word integrity again to define how cheating affects your social, academic, and family life. Cheating causes you to lose your integrity. That ties the third paragraph neatly into the point raised in the introduction paragraph.
If I were to make suggestions they would mainly do with proper punctuation and the like at this point. Watch your periods. They are missing at the end of the 1st and last paragraph. Don’t forget commas before the word “but”. Also, “For example, if I cheated on a test and got amazing marks. ” is not a complete sentence. I think an earlier suggestion up top was to tie that sentence into the following sentence to make it complete. I agree or you could rephrase the line to become a complete sentence. In the third paragraph, you write the adjustment “inflicts” with your academic life. It could conflict with it or cause trouble, but inflict has a different meaning and the grading will take account of your correct use of words. In the last paragraph, “By cheating, I will affect my academic life if I get caught cheating.” is redundant. Perhaps you could write, “By cheating and getting caught, I could harm my academic life.” It only mentions cheating once and uses a more active albeit simple verb “harm” to indicate exactly how your academic life is affected.
Overall good job working from your original body of material. The improvements from one editing cut can be remarkable!
One of the many reasons I would say “no” to my friend, if she asked to cheat off of me, would be because I would realize that she was never really trustworthy or considerate. I believe it is unfathomable that anyone ask to cheat on an admissions exam, but it is even more absurd that it be a friend.
Additionally, if I were to allow my friend to cheat off of me, it would give her the idea that she could do it more often. If I allow it to happen once, I am selling myself out to everyone, showing that cheating is acceptable. Thus anyone could easily take advantage of me. Permitting cheating is something that is not only dishonorable, but also consequential.
Hard work is the key to success. If everyone must work hard and pass the exam to get accepted into the prestigious school, then it would be completely unjust that someone gets to cheat his/her way in. Everyone should follow the same guidelines and regulations in order to be fairly accepted into the school. Moreover, we would both live with the guilt and regret for the next four years. I would feel culpable and ashamed for my wrong-doing, and she would not feel proud for her accomplishment. Therefore, everyone should have a fair chance of getting into the school so all those who get accepted can share the pride.
Finally, I would never put my chance of getting accepted at stake so somebody else can cheat his/her way in. If we were to get caught, we would be greatly humiliated and reprimanded, but neither of us would be able to attend the school. It would definitely not be worth the risk. Putting something that means a lot to me at stake so that a friend can deceitfully sneak her way into an honorable school, is a risk I would never be willing to take.
As one can clearly see, cheating is a crime, and if a friend requested to cheat off of me, my answer would always be “no.” It is unfair, consequential, and risky. If both my friend and I want to attend such a prestigious school, the best way would be to try our best and complete all the necessary tasks.
Hi Annika,
Thanks for submitting your essay. Let’s begin with a review of the organization and supporting evidence. Your opening thesis paragraph should clearly state your thesis and include the three main arguments for your thesis. Structurally this is okay. You clearly would not let a friend cheat because …
1. you would compromise your honesty
2. you would know she was a false friend and you would expose yourself to being victimized in the future
3. it is unfair
4. it puts your own admission at risk
The strength of your thesis paragraph is being weighed down by a number of grammatical mistakes. For example,the 2nd sentence should read “cheat off my admissions test to get into a…” The “to get” is missing. Secondly, you frequently use commas when they are not needed or appropriate in the essay. Examples in the 1st paragraph are “…that she get accepted by cheating her way in…” No comma needed. Also, “accepted at stake for a selfish and unmoral friend…” No comma needed. These errors take the reader’s focus away from the organization and ideas of the essay. It is critical not to do that at the start. If you lose the reader at the start it will be a tough uphill climb to win them back. Better to keep it organized and simple at the start.
The body paragraphs are the area of this essay that could use the greatest improvement. The basic structure of these paragraphs is to outline the main arguments made in the opening paragraph. Generally you did this except you brought up a fifth, entirely new idea not mentioned in the opening paragraph; your guilt and shame. That might be okay in a really strong, concise essay, but in this case you devoted as much text to this point as any other main point and that causes the essay to wander a bit in my opinion. The second thing to consider is the purpose of the body paragraphs. They are meant to provide evidence and support for your arguments with additional detail. Unfortunately, your 1st body paragraph, for example, is only two sentences long and provides no evidence or support for your claim. I think it is following item 2. above, but you really have to show why your argument is true in more detail. The first body paragraph should be your strongest one. You led with the weakest paragraph.
On a separate note, I would be careful about using extremes in your essay. By that I mean you claim “everyone” gets in by working hard. That’s not true if your friend and possibly others like her cheat. Also at the end you claim cheating is a “crime”. Not only is that claim more extreme than your earlier claims, it is not supported by you in your essay anywhere. Can you get arrested for cheating on a test? If the reader can disprove your extreme point in their mind then they will be inclined to disagree with all your arguments in the essay.
The conclusion is short and to the point. That is okay. It summarizes the points and it is the least important paragraph. I would focus on the above. It is a good amount to think about and review. That is a good thing so please do not take my suggestions with heavy heart. They are only suggestions and with practice you should make a lot of improvement! I would write another, different essay working on the points outlined. Then after a break you may consider coming back to this essay topic and taking another shot at it to see the difference. Good luck!
Essay
In the modern society, people place a high emphasis on honesty and integrity. It would not be right for me to allow my friend to cheat. Cheating would be extremely dishonest and would ruin my honor. Instead, there could be several more moral solutions, such as helping my friend study and improve her test-taking ability. Candidates that are cheats and liars should and would not be accepted into a prestigious school.
Letting her copy off me could allow us both to go to school together, but it comes with a risk. Getting caught would result in dire consequences. Just a few could include instant disqualification, a permanent mark on our records, and perhaps community service. It would not be worth it to risk all these punishments just to go to school together. Besides, on the other side of risk, there is a chance that my friend could still be accepted even if she is a terrible test taker. In this case, the risk outweighs the possible outcomes, so I would not let her cheat off me.
Moreover, cheating would give my friend and me a guilty conscience. For the rest of our lives, we would remember how we participated in a scam. Our conscience could easily betray us and cause one of us to admit that we cheated. Furthermore, it could be obvious that we feel guilty, and one of the interviewers could detect it. Clearly, cheating would leave me with a horrible conscience.
To sum up, I would not help my friend cheat on the aptitude test. It would be extremely dishonest, and anyone with such bad character should not be accepted. Also, there is a big risk in cheating, and doing so would stay with us and haunt us for the rest of our lives. I would not allow my friend to cheat off of me on the admission test.
Again a well organized essay and that seems to speak to one of the strengths in your writing in general. The strongest paragraph is your opening paragraph and that is probably the most important one. You refuse to cheat because of your integrity, because of the risk, and because you would feel guilt. The body paragraphs clearly follow this outline and you sum up nicely in the conclusion. Good job! Some of the suggestions from your last entry have been included. For example, you have less instances of unnecessary commas. That’s definitely moving in the right direction.
On the other hand, I personally liked some of the ideas from your last essay more. I think they were a little more out of the ordinary. I don’t mean to suggest you should always try to find something unusual in your argument. That could get you stuck and be counter-productive. I would instead suggest building up the supporting information for your body paragraphs. That could also grip the reader and help deliver a better essay. For example, the 1st body paragraph should be the strongest body paragraph. You begin by saying people place a high emphasis on honesty in society today without providing an example to show that is true. My first thought was that between politics and performance enhancing drugs in sports and so forth that society does not value honesty enough! My pre-inclination was to disagree. Before you start talking about how cheating with your friend is dishonest, I suggest you give a concrete example and build up the claim that society values integrity or clearly state why integrity is important. At the end of that paragraph you also mention cheats “would” not get accepted and then in the next sentence indicate letting her copy off you could get you both into school. Which is it? Would cheats get in or not? I would strike the word “would”. I do like the idea of helping your friend to improve her test-taking. It shows you are willing to make a positive contribution (not just say no to a negative one).
In the second body paragraph I suggest again building on the idea that although the possibility of getting caught may be slight, the magnitude of the loss would great. I like how you present three examples of what could happen to cheaters who get caught. Take that one step further. What does a permanent mark on your record mean? What is the consequence of instant disqualification? I might argue your friend wasn’t getting in without cheating anyway so what does your friend really lose from disqualification? That puts her right back at square one! No better, no worse. In my opinion there is no need to repeat that a terrible test taker could get in again. You already said copying could get you both in. While I like saying something and then telling the reader again what you told them it seems between this and your last essay there are numerous repeated ideas where repeating isn’t necessary. Another example is the conclusion. You say you wouldn’t help your friend cheat and two sentences later say again you wouldn’t allow her to cheat off you. If you say it once with some emphasis then there is no need to repeat the idea in such close proximity within the same paragraph. In short, good effort. Your logical outline is a strength, but try to build up your supporting details more.
First of all, cheating in general is a serious act that should never take place. Whether it is cheating in a game or cheating on a test, it is not right and the person should realize that cheating is wrong. Eventually, the person will get caught and this isn’t a risk I am willing to take. For example, if my friend cheats off my paper, they will start getting into the habit of always cheating off me. This can lead to lots of trouble and leave a permanent mark on our record. Cheating on a test is not only bad, but can also lead to severe consequences.
Additionally, friendship isn’t worth my dignity. It doesn’t matter to me if the person cheating off me is a celebrity or a infamous person who is looked at inferior than others, I would never let the person cheat off me. I would lose my dignity because I let a person cheat off my test. Everyone would know that my friend and I were the cheaters and would look down on us. Also, if I were a student with a clean record, I wouldn’t be treated like someone who is worthy of respect. This would make me have a bad conscience because I know that my friend didn’t legitimately get into the school. My friendship does not create my dignity and is why I would not let my friend cheat off my test.
Lastly, cheating may make teachers suspicious about our tests. It is one thing to have the math portion of the exam exactly the same, but it is a totally different story if both of our essays were the same. This would can cause teachers to be paranoid about of tests. They will figure out we cheated and would be caught. I also may not even be accepted into the school. Also, if my friend doesn’t even know how to do the math problems I solved on the exam and the teacher gave out the problem during class, some teachers might persecute my friend and they would get in trouble.
In conclusion, cheating is never good and I should never let my friend cheat off my entrance test for a prestigious high school. It isn’t right, friendship isn’t worth my dignity and cheating may lead in auspiciousness from teachers. If my friend and I really wanted to get into the school, we would do it legitimately and follow all the correct procedures.
Good, simple first paragraph. I like the scene setting sentence at the start and then a striaght-forward list of the supporting reasons why you would not let your friend cheat; not good, lose dignity, and risk of getting caught. I am still waiting for the student to take the other side of the argument. Although it may be risky and not recommended, it could make for an interesting essay if well argued.
The body paragraphs are good, but not as strong as an earlier example. The 1st body para for example is about why cheating is bad; a serious act. You leak into this paragraph the idea of getting caught which is the third body para idea. Try not to introduce new ideas whether it is wandering off to new topics or, in this case, mixing one of your ideas with another unless it is for clear reasons. Focus on the “it is bad” argument only and try to support just that argument. I relaize this is a difficult task (hard to compartmentalize), but it is necessary to stay on point. You end the paragraph with “cheating…leads to severe consequences.” What severe consequences? Avoid raising a point and then not supporting it.
The second paragraph has a slight diction issue. “looked at inferior than others” might be “looked at as inferior to others” instead? Also, rather than referring to your friend as “a person” in general refer to them more specifically. I get a little lost linking two ideas in this paragraph as well. “If I had a clean record, I would not be treated as worthy of respect.” Wouldn’t someone with a clean record be respected? I think you are trying to say perhaps if you lost your clean record by cheating you may not get respect. Also, I do not really understand why the fact that friendhsip doesn’t create dignity results in the decision to not let your friend cheat at the end. I think you are trying to repeat the idea in the first sentence that friendship isn’t worth losing your dignity which is a little different than the text of the last line in my view.
The 3rd body para has some slight diction issues too. “This would can cause”? I think “would” or “can”, but not both words makes sense. “about of tests”…I assume you meant to write “about our tests”? Also, “figure out we cheated and (we) would be caught.” Maybe insert the “we”. Another typical mistake in essays at this grade level is the use of or overreliance on pronouns without having a clear antecedent or proper noun to reference. Who is the “they” that will figure you cheated? The teachers? If so, then why would the teachers get in trouble at the end of the paragraph? For persecuting a student? That seems like a strange turn of ideas for an essay about why students should not cheat.
The conclusion is fine, but I would say “would” rather than “should”. To me “should” sounds a little less certain. Don’t water down your thesis statement at the end lest you might be perceived as lacking confidence to the reader about your own arguments. Say it with confident, strong language. Good job in general. Hopefully my thoughts will give you some ideas to make it tighter and better for the exam.
On one hand, it would not be fair if that friend got into that prestigious college. Obviously, cheating is not a true representation of one’s true skill. Cheating is being academically dishonest. This is only because my friend, who is bad at taking tests in this scenario, only got in because of me. Therefore, my friend cheating would actually be a representation of my skill during that aptitude test. Moreover, it just wouldn’t be fair if my friend was accepted into the school only because of me.
To add to this, not letting my friend cheat on would actually help my friend out. Friendship is definitely important, but academic honesty is also important. Academic honesty is simply being honest in one’s academic work. However, if one cannot be academically honest, it can lead to many consequences. Also, even if that friend got into that college and he cheated, there would be no way he would be able to succeed at that school. If that friend relied on me for a test, how would that friend ever do well on a test in the college? He wouldn’t; it is as simple as that. He would have to rely on someone else, and if he got caught, he would automatically be expelled. I wouldn’t want to let that happen to my friend nor would I want them not be prepared for college. Therefore, I would not let my friend cheat on the aptitude test.
Ultimately, I wouldn’t let my friend cheat. Cheating is simply unfair and it not letting my friend cheat would in actuality helping my friend with his academic progress. Friendship is certainly an essential part of one’s life, but one could also say that academic honesty is probably just as important.
sorry not sure how to make this labeled as an essay.
No worries. We do that for you.
I really like the scene setting first couple sentences describing the importance of friendship and contrasting that to the wrongs of cheating. It indicates you understand the heart of the conflict presented in this essay prompt and that will be very important for the exam. You must demonstrate you understand the conundrum and form a strong thesis and argue that thesis. It is often too easy to just assume as the essay writer and not state the main conflict which would likely be a mistake. Also, I like your transitions in each of the body paragraphs. I think you thought about your outline which is good. You would not let your friend cheat because it is unfair and it would not really help your friend. You then backed up both those cases in two body paragraphs (which is okay by the way. If you are time constrained you can reduce 3 body paragraphs to two solid paragraphs).
My suggestions would be to focus on your arguments and ask yourself if every sentence has a reason for being there and is it clear to the reader? For example, the intro paragraph has a sentence which mentions friends can be reliable, like emotionally, but are not supposed to be used as tools. What does the phrase “used as tools” mean? I think that has to be further explained. I kind of see where you are going with this sentence, but it needs to be more clear and possibly simplified in my opinion. In addition, your thesis statement and two reasons at the end of the intro are interrupted by the phrase, “even if not many people were applying.” Why include that? To me it takes away from the punch of your thesis statement and supporting points. I read it twice before it sunk in. After reading 30, 40 or 50 essays the person grading your essay may not want to read it again. Keep your thesis statement and reasons clear and simple so the reader can follow your train of thought easily.
The first body paragraph should be your strongest. That may not be the case here. You state cheating is academically dishonest and “this ” is because your friend got in only because of you. I am not sure what “this” refers to. Cheating to get your friend in is academically dishonest, but cheating is not academically dishonest “because” of your friend. Cheating is always dishonest for everyone involved. The logical course of your thought progression must be clear and form a strong argument. Perhaps you could argue why helping your friend cheat is dishonest and why you do not wish to be dishonest? Maybe the sentences about academic honesty belong in that 1st body paragraph? Then you could start the next body paragraph with “To add…it would not help my friend out. Even if he got in he would not be able to succeed…..” In that case you finish one train of thought in body para 1 and then start and stick only to your other train of thought in body para 2 about why it actually hurts your friend. That is a lot to consider for the first effort so I will stop there. Keep up the effort.
Thank you for all the suggestions! 🙂
On one hand, it would not be fair if that friend got into that prestigious college. Obviously, cheating is not a true representation of one’s true skill. Cheating is being academically dishonest. Letting my friend cheat would show that I am also being academically dishonest because of the fact that I let my friend cheat. Friendship is definitely important, but academic honesty is also important. If one cannot be academically honest, it can lead to many consequences. Therefore, my friend cheating would actually be a representation of my skill during that aptitude test. Moreover, it just wouldn’t be fair if my friend was accepted into the school only because of me.
To add to that, not letting my friend cheat on would actually help my friend out. Also, even if that friend got into that college and he cheated, there would be no way he would be able to succeed at that school. If that friend relied on me for a test, how would that friend ever do well on a test in the college? He wouldn’t; it is as simple as that. He would have to rely on someone else, and if he got caught, he would automatically be expelled. I wouldn’t want to let that happen to my friend nor would I want them not be prepared for college. Therefore, I would not let my friend cheat on the aptitude test.
Ultimately, I wouldn’t let my friend cheat. Cheating is simply unfair and it not letting my friend cheat would in actuality helping my friend with his academic progress. Friendship is certainly an essential part of one’s life, but one could also say that academic honesty is probably just as important.
This is a repeat?
no it isn’t. It’s a revised version
Okay. Got it.
When a friend asks me to help him/her study and prepare before a test, I agree and help them. However, if anyone approaches me during the test to ask me help, I would decline. It is great to help someone study for a test, as both you and your friend can gain from it. You can ask your friend for answers that you might not know and they can do the same. For example, if you are bad at interviews and your friend is good at them, they can give you interview tips while you can give your friend test-taking tips.
In addition, cheating can hurt friendships and leave a guilty conscience. If a friend of yours always has you around to help them cheat, you might want to rethink your friendship. Also, if you both are caught cheating, and kicked out of the entrance test, you might start to blame each other for it. Furthermore, cheating on a test can leave both the cheater and the one helping them with guilty consciences. If you both end up getting accepted into the school, even if you do well, you still will have guilty consciences for a long time.
Another reason not to cheat is the risk of getting caught. If there is an option of only you getting in, or both of you getting kicked out because of cheating, would the risk be worth it. No! If you are caught cheating, not only will you have no chance of getting into the school, you’ll also have a reputation for cheating. Also, if your friend’s only chance of getting accepted is to cheat, is that school a good choice for them. If they are accepted after they cheat, your friend will find the material in the school too hard and continue a habit of cheating. This can lead to more trouble down the road.
In conclusion, cheating is always bad, whether in the short run or the long run. An alternative is to help your friend study. If anyone ever approaches and asks me to help them cheat, I would always decline since cheating is too risky and not worth losing a friendship over.
I assume you mean “helping a friend prepare for a test (is a good thing?)”. Also, it should read “too” much not “two” much. Be careful about your use of words especially words that can easily get mixed up like affect and effect. Otherwise, the thesis is clear and the intro paragraph is clear and touches upon three points to argue.
I like the approach of your 1st body paragraph. It follows from your intro paragraph, but it is a little different in that you are not yet highlighting why cheating is unacceptable, but laying the groundwork for what is acceptable. This approach is positive in tone and a little different than the other essays. Again I would be careful about some of the diction. I assume the 2nd line should be “ask me (for) help” and also I might make a change to “gain from it”. In this case I might not use “it” again in the sentence and highlight that “it” is the “mutual effort”. This case is actually not really troublesome, but be careful about your pronoun usage and references. Make sure you are clear.
The 2nd body paragraphs is a clear idea why cheating can be bad. It is written with a lot of references to “you” and “yours”. Who is “you”. Also be careful about generalizations and general references. Is you me the reader? Anyone in general? You personally? Try to be more specific. The more specific the better…usually. While I like the content and ideas this paragraph includes a great deal of projecting. Perhaps add some examples. Can you bring into play some example from your life or someone related to you to show the reader the consequences of a guilty conscience?
The 3rd paragraph is also a good idea, but you ask a couple questions without using a question mark. Be careful of details like punctuation. I like the conclusion. It is short, sweet and to the point of wrapping it all up. Moreover, it offers a suggestion in line with your 1st body paragraph which again gives a nice positive spin to your essay.
Thank you so much!
To begin, I would not help my friend in the exam because of moral standards. I cannot help someone cheat for personal gain. There is nothing to be proud of cheating, because it is essentially committing a crime. Also, even if there is little chance of being detected, we are applying to a prestigious school. I a school was held so high in regard, it would most likely have a way of finding cheaters. Friendship comes with trust, but the school also trusts us to take the test to the best of our ability. Friends also respect and help each other. I simply cannot serve up the answers because my friend was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. However, I can help my friend study and practice to the best of our abilities. I do not want my friend to be a dishonest person, but a kind, honest spirit.
Thomas Jefferson once stated, “Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.” If my friend wants to go to a prestigious school, it is for education. Yet, when he lacks honesty, he will be unable to gain wisdom and knowledge. My friend must work hard in order to get into this academy. Without hard work and determination, he will be unsuccessful in life. He would learn responsibility and grow to become a mature adult. I can decide my own destiny, but my friend has to make his own future.
Finally, I would not help my friend cheat because schools teach students, not cheater. If my friend decides to cheat, he has no right to go to school. You go to school to learn, to become experienced. If he does not want to go through the work necessary, he can go somewhere else. I want to learn to do something good with my life, not try and cheat my way out of every situation. Teachers can also notice if my friend will be unmotivated in class, he might be passing because he cheats. The anonymous people grading our tests would be perplexed if we both had the same exact answers. I do not intend on being an accomplice to this felony.
In the final analysis, I would not help my friend cheat because of personal beliefs, responsibility, and the purpose of schools. I would practice hard and study day and night, without stopping if I truly wanted to get accepted, not ask my friend if he could do all the hard work for me.
how do I write an essay
You can write your essay directly in the input box for the essay prompt or copy and paste it in after writing it in word or google docs or some other text app. That’s all there is to it.
Cheating
Next, the school is most likely advanced based on the knowledge that it is called “prestigious” and requires an exam and interview. Therefore they must expect their alumni to overcome their obstacles, such as but study habits perhaps, bad time management, or even not so good test taking. Allowing my friend to cheat would not be helping her overcome her obstacle, but letting her avoid it. This may cause problems in the future because now she still will not know how to take tests well.
Lastly, cheating is unacceptable mostly everywhere. If the school found out, it would diminish any chance either of us have at being selected. Furthermore, my friend cheating on their exam and passing is cheating on herself. In her conscience she will know that she herself was not able to pass the test, and that may affect her studies, and I do not want that. Also, the school expects you to be able to pass on your own accord. This is how they select their alumni. If you get in, but not because you know the material, you will most likely fall behind. That will hinder your progress in your career.
In conclusion, allowing my friend to cheat is not an option I will ever select. It is not a one hundred percent guarantee of admission, it will not help my friend overcome her challenges, nor will it help her in her studies anyway and will affect her student career in a negative way. Cheating should never be an option to anyone, it has no positive results. You may pass your feared exam if you are not caught but your memory constantly remind you. I leave you with this question, however; what would you do if your friend asked to cheat off you for an exam like this?
I would simplify and clarify all your points especially in the introduction which is arguably the most important paragraph. State your thesis in a clear, active sentence and the supporting arguments you will discuss in your body paragraphs. To me, it seems you get a little lost in the tangential idea that the test is not the sole factor and cheating may not work in the end. I am not sure I follow some of the sentences like the one about the applicant’s wife. You do not want to lose the reader or have them wondering what you are trying to say in the opening paragraph so I suggest you may want to keep the ideas and sentences as simple and straight forward as possible. Is English maybe not be your first language? If not it will make this essay a challenging task, but not necessarily insurmountable. Keep the sentences simple and focus on what you know you can write well. Make sure you are focused only on the points you want to argue and not introducing other ideas. And practice as much as possible before-hand.
Hi Charles,
I added an introduction and revised it a little. Please let me know what you think. Thank you!
———————-
Cheating
To begin, this test is not the sole factor that determines admission. As stated, there is also an interview and my friend wishes for us to go to the school together. Even if I allow my friend to cheat, either one of us, though most likely me since my friend is great at interviews, could fail the interview. Then, only one of us would be attending the school. This would defeat the whole purpose of cheating to pass the aptitude test. Even more so, if this school requires a test and interview, I can infer that this prestigious school selects their applicants wisely. This, in turn, produces the fact that my friend and I are competing for a seat in the school, therefore increasing our chances of being separated.
Next, the school is most likely advanced; based on the knowledge that it is called “prestigious” and requires an exam and interview. Therefore, they must expect their applicants to overcome their obstacles, such as bad study habits perhaps, bad time management, or even not-so-good test taking skills. Allowing my friend to cheat would not be helping her overcome her obstacle, but letting her avoid it. This may cause problems in the future because now she still will not know how to take tests well.
Lastly, cheating is unacceptable anywhere. If the school found out, it would diminish any chance either of us have at being selected. Furthermore, my friend cheating on their exam and passing is actually cheating on herself. In her conscience she will know that she herself was not able to pass the test, and that may affect her studies, and I do not want that. Also, the school expects you to be able to pass on your own accord. This is how they select their students. If you get in, by not knowing the material, you will most likely fall behind. That will hinder your progress in your career.
In conclusion, allowing my friend to cheat is an option I will never select. It is not a hundred percent guarantee of admission, it will not help my friend overcome her challenges, nor will it help her in her studies anyway and will affect her student career in a negative way. Cheating should never be an option for anyone and it has no positive results. You may pass your feared exam if you are not caught, but your memory will constantly remind you. I’ll leave you with this question, however; what would you do if your friend asked to cheat off you for an exam like this?
Much better start and a good scene setting to start off. “This prestigious school is intimidating. The aptitude test looms over us. My friend pleads to cheat off me just this once. I refuse. But why? This test does not guarantee admission. (From here I would list out your three reasons why you refuse to help cheat and eliminate the rest of the paragraph).” The result would provide a nice “hook”, clearly state your thesis and provide a roadmap of the 3 arguments you will make in each body paragraph; all in all the basics of a solid intro paragraph.
I would still simplify your body paragraphs and make sure they argue, and pretty much only argue, the three points you introduce in the opening paragraph. Your 1st argument appears to be …it may not work. Admissions depends on more than the test. I would simplify your sentences and ideas. “There is an interview as well and (nix this whole part – it adds little new- As stated, there is also an interview and my friend wishes for us to go to the school together.) ..even if I allow my friend to cheat either one of us, though most likely me since my friend is great at interviews, could fail the interview.” Why does wise selection by the school increase the chance one of you will get rejected? Not because you are competing for seats. Nix that line. It is not the real reason. It is because the chances become low for a selective school. It is hard enough for one person to get in let alone two so the cheating may turn out to be a waste of time or a wasted risk. Say that if that is what you mean.
The same ideas go for the body paragraphs. you made a big leap in your intro now there is wood to chop in your body paragraphs. Simplify the sentences and make sure your ideas and supporting arguments are focused.
The conclusion is pretty good. Again simplify a sentence like “allowing my friend to cheat is an option I will never select” to something more active like “I will never let my friend cheat.” I see what you are trying to do with the last question, but it doesn’t work. You are just restating the essay prompt. Maybe you could recast the question in terms of your reasons? Would you trade your conscience to benefit a friend especially if it won’t necessarily get both of you into the school? The obvious answer for the reader is “No!” at which point you just proved your entire thesis and argument!
Hiut
Hello! This is my essay. I personally think that it is too short and not really well-stated since I had to work in a very short amount of time, so please forgive me if I don’t really have much good supporting evidence. I tried to put some effort into it, so please tell me how I can improve. Thank you!
If I let my friend cheat off of me, her experience in taking tests would not increase and she wouldn’t know how to take other tests. If I continue to let her cheat, she will keep relying on me and soon enough she won’t even be studying for tests and would just cheat. However, at some point in our lives, she will have to take a test without someone to rely on, such as a test for college or other related tests. If she has repeatedly cheated off of me, she won’t study out of habit, therefore failing the test and having her future crumble before her very eyes. In final consideration, her future experiences in test-taking will not be very good.
Moreover, my friend won’t be able to learn anything out of cheating off of me. Like I said, she won’t study for other tests if she relies on me. If she doesn’t study, then she will less likely understand a topic. She might need that information for a later event in life, but since she has relied on cheating, she won’t be able to understand things. Additionally, she also might learn false things. If I have trouble on a test and she copies every answer I put, some of my answers may be wrong and she will get the wrong idea. She could think that the answer is right, and it would be set in her mind. Overall, her knowledge in some things would be somewhat very wrong and learning could be difficult for her.
Lastly, I think that our friendship would also falter and I wouldn’t be able to trust my friend anymore. If she cheats often, then I would start to think that every word she says is a lie. I would start to avoid taking her advice or listening to her life stories. This may result in avoiding her in general and we wouldn’t talk as much. We wouldn’t be able to share secrets, since my trust in her is not on a very high level. Even if I do say no, my friend would be the one to lose her trust in me, and she’ll start to avoid me as well. All in all, either way, our friendship will definitely fail and we will slowly separate from one another.
So, I would say no to my friend. If I said yes to my friend, her future test-taking experiences will most likely be stressful, she won’t be able to learn anything good out of cheating, and our friendship could very well falter. Friendship is very important, but fake friendship is something people should avoid. If a “friend” asks to cheat off of you, they might as well just be pretending to be your friend so they can cheat and get good grades. My friend probably won’t be my friend if I said no, but even though, I would tell her to study a little bit each day so she can be well prepared for the test, and I won’t even have to say anything for the interview, since she is very capable of passing that. I would lose one friend, but I can go on knowing that I at least helped her in her learning experience.
Well executed intro. You state your thesis clearly, lay out a roadmap of the arguments you plan to make and indicate you have a strong grasp of the dilemma at hand. The first body paragraph follows your roadmap with a detailed explanation, but it is short on evidence (as you indicated above). Although I do not disagree, I wonder how much is backed up in facts versus projection. To play devil’s advocate, would it not be possible for your friend and you to do this once or is cheating somehow addictive? I like how you consider the result of saying no from your friend’s perspective. Most students only consider their own perspective which says a lot about your powers of observation and reasoning. It is a subtle point, but very important. The school is looking at your ability to reason and learn something about you and not just your writing skill. Overall, well written and I like the lesson learned at the end. No need to apologize at the outset. This is an excellent first example. Keep up the effort!
I would not help her because she needed to study herself. If she wanted to do good on it, she could have called me over and we could have studied together and helped each other out. The time for helping was every single hour before the test. If she asks for help on the test I would very politely say, “No.” I would tell her that she should have known about her weakness before the test and helped herself.
Additionally, I would say no because there is a chance of getting caught. It is very possible that there is a teacher in the test taking room. If I were to help the biggest concern to me is that if someone sees me and kicks me out. Moreover, this will also affect my reputation as a cheater test-taker. When I take bigger tests like the ACT’s, SAT’s, and tests for IV leagues, they will have heard about me being a cheater, and they will not like it.
Lastly, helping a friend cheat on a test would consciously make her used to it. The moment I put my hand on her test she will think it is O.K., that everything is fine. When she gets the results back and it is a high score, she will think, “I should really cheat more.” When she goes to do the SAT’s, ACT’s, and any IV league tests she will turn around and ask for help. She will find herself in trouble and she will be known as a cheater. Furthermore, she and the person she was talking will both get thrown out of the test taking room.
Given these points, I would not help my friend cheat on a test. She might be mad at me, she might not want to be friends with me anymore, but I will say, “It’s better for the both of us.” Helping aq friend cheat on a test would ruin both of ours reputations and get us kicked out. When we are walking out and the test is finished I might say to her, “Maybe know you learned study more before the next big test.”
I suppose you aren’t really helping her learn while she cheats off you and you cannot get kicked out if neither of you have yet gained admission. I am being a little facetious, but actually it is important to piece together a strong logical argument. Your argument in the introduction boils down to “I want to help a friend study, but not cheat. Cheating isn’t acceptable and there is a risk of getting caught. ” I think you can tighten up the intro. For example “I would not help her because, on such a test, cheating is definitely not acceptable, not because she would be a competitor.” The last part is awkward in the sentence and it suggests you want to continue a point that isn’t explained and perhaps not critical to your argument. Stick to an outline and argue each point in force. Why is cheating not acceptable? To whom? You? Society? Famous athletes cheat. Politicians too. Even scientific research gets doctored in the interest of getting drugs approved etc. Why is it not acceptable to you if it achieves a goal? You never really explained in the body paragraphs. How about the second point; the risk of getting caught. This is addressed in a body paragraph, but it needs more depth. Who are “they”? The prompt says you are unlikely to get caught. How do you rebutt that point? Is it just about reputation? If so how about your reputation among friends? Or is about morality and other things as well?
The third body paragraph introduces a new point entirely. While still on topic, I generally suggest avoiding new arguments that you didn’t originally outline. There is too much risk of wandering off topic. The conclusion is okay, but think carefully about that last line and what it messages. I surmise you included it and intend for it to be a good lesson learned for your friend, but does it not come off as arrogant? After all, you decided not to help her because you didn’t want to get caught and it wasn’t cool for you. That is fine, but should it not end there? If you are giving her life lessons or advice as you are walking out of the test after no further good can be accomplished, then could it not be perceived as preaching which even unconsciously assumes you have elevated yourself above her. That could be perceived as good advice by your reader or perhaps as a character flaw.
I did not have much time to write a perfect essay. At least, I finished
I did not have enough time to write the perfect essay that I could have written with more time. At least, I finished.
To start off, my integrity is very important. To have integrity, I must have a consistency of moral character, honesty, and truthfulness. Although maintaining and demonstrating integrity is very difficult because it involves speaking the truth and having courage, I am determined to keep my integrity. Therefore, if my friend asked me to allow them to cheat off my test, keeping my integrity would result in having the confidence to say no. If I allowed my friend to cheat, it would show dishonest behavior.
Adding on, allowing a friend to cheat off a test would result in my guilty conscience and eventual regret. I had worked so hard to get to the point I am at but I would have thrown it all away for just one test. Throughout school, I would be unable to get rid of the nagging thought that I did not deserve to be in the school. Although cheating may seem like a good way to get into the school with my friend at the moment, after time I am positive that I will greatly regret my decision. My entire time at that school would feel like a lie and I do not think that I would be able to go through that.
Lastly, cheating on a test is very risky. There is a high chance that we may get caught. Getting caught in such a horrible action will definitely result in huge consequences. Most likely we will no longer be allowed to admission for the school so our hard work would have meant nothing. Application exams are one of the biggest tests and I may take which means many people may be watching our every move. It will be very hard to pull off cheating.
In conclusion, cheating is not a good way to get into a school with your friend. Cheating may result in losing my integrity, my guilty conscience and eventual regret, and the huge risk. Although cheating may save our friendship, it is not worth the huge risk that comes with it.
******* Dear Mr.Charles, this is my essay for the prompt cheating, please comment on it and if you see this please hand me your email so I can email the rest of my essay to you and thank you.*********
Raiyaan Shaik
Mr.Charles
BCA Test Prep
20 December 2016
Cheating
Sophocles once said, “ I would prefer even to fail with honor than win by cheating.” Honesty and integrity are very essential characteristics that will get you very far in life. If a friend ever asked me to help them cheat on a test, I would say no quicker than a heartbeat. Helping my friend cheat isn’t worth the effects in the long run. There are many reasons why I wouldn’t help my friend cheat on a test but some of the reasons are these three: cheating won’t help you get further in life, a guilty conscience would perch in your soul and he or she would not belong in this prestigious school.
To start off, cheating is a sign that you are in need for desperate help and that you can’t succeed on your own so you have to take the support of others. Maybe if I did help my friend cheat I would be able to help him this one test. However, this isn’t the only test he or she is going to come across their life. Maybe to get into a prestigious college you would have to take another exam and I might no be there to help them. In their exams at school, I won’t be able to assist him or her which would allow them to fall back on their grades and slack on school work. If they are so used to cheating then when there is no one around they will not have the slightest clue on what to due. However, if they don’t cheat and just improve on their test taking skills then they will be successful in life. These are just some examples of how cheating won’t let him or her get far in life and won’t allow them to succeed. Thus, this is one of the reasons why I wouldn’t allow my friend to cheat on my test on the exam: because it wouldn’t get them far in life .
To add on, if helped my friend cheat I wouldn’t be able to survive the guilty conscience in my soul if he got accepted into the school. If he or she did get accepted into the school, I would not only be cheating with my friend and I but also the whole school. If helped my friend get accepted into the school and a guilty conscience would perch in my soul just like a bird in her nest. I would go to school everyday with a voice in the back of my head saying that I did something very dishonest and that I didn’t belong in this school. Also, if did help my friend cheat on the test there would be a chance that I would be caught red handed and my reputation and my integrity would all go down the drain in less than a minute and I would have no chance in the future neither would my friend. I would be know as a cheater when I go take take the SAT’s ACT’s or CAT’s and my future college interviews. Hence,this is another reason why I wouldn’t allow myself to help my friend cheat of me: because I would live with a guilty conscience for the rest of my life.
In addition, I wouldn’t feel right if I helped my friend get accepted into this prestigious school. This school is based of many morals, ethics, and hardworking students. If I let the school accept a person who cheats, lies, and is lazy I would not be helping the school in improving their standards as a state or nationally ranked school. One bad apple can’t ruin the bunch by itself but if it influences its neighboring apples to be rotten too then yes one bad apple can ruin the bunch. This is a metaphor or an example for my friend. If I let the school accept a cheater, liar, and a lazy person my friend could influence his neighboring peers which affect the school as a whole. Furthermore, this is another reason why I wouldn’t let my friend copy of me: I wouldn’t be helping improve the school’s standards as a honest, extraordinary, and prestigious school.
All in all letting my friend copy of me on an exam would be an overall bad decision for me and the future of the school. One reason, I wouldn’t help my friend cheat on the test is that, it won’t let him or her get any farther in life. Just because I would be able to help him on one test doesn’t mean I can be there for him every time he needs me. Another reason, is that I would feel very guilty in helping my friend go to the school even though he or she doesn’t deserve this spot because they were dishonest and cheaters. The third reason is that I wouldn’t be helping the school’s academic and behavioral standards as a prestigious, honest, hard working school.To sum up, helping my friend cheat would go against my moral and the ethics of this prestigious school. These are the reasons why I wouldn’t help my friend cheat on a test.
I am not sure you got the essay reply a few days ago by email. Here it is again.
There are good points in here and it is a decent attempt to organize them, but you seem to repeat some ideas. I would like to see it ightened up. Make sure your arguments are distinct and written clearly and concisely. BCTS will expect a focused argument written in a HS level voice. There are too many typos and little grammar errors throughout. e.g. ” I would not be helping the school in improving their standards” should be .”..helping the school improve their standards”. Little examples like that throughout cumulatively take a large toll on the reader and ultimately your grade. In part, it seems like you were rushing to write a lot. Don’t. Brevity and quality are preferable. My other suggestion is to make the essay more personal. Don’t refer to a general “you” or “your friend”. That is typical for writers at this age. It is impersonal and does not connect with the reader. One idea might be to pick your best friend, name him formally, and tell the reader about your personal relationship and what about your own experience leads you to your conclusions. It will bring your essay to life which helps you stand out.
Lastly, with the main practical essay suggestions out of the way, I will introduce an idea or argument to you I make to almost every student on this essay response. Almost every bright young future scientist completely forgets the scientific method and fails to write an argument based on evidence. Reflexively, everyone makes the case they think the school wants to hear which boils down to something like “It is morally correct.” Even Sophocles would demand to see evidence in support of the statement, “Honesty and integrity are very essential characteristics that will get you very far in life.” I hope that is true, but some readers might put forth Alex Rodriguez, Lance Armstrong, Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump, the CEO of Wells Fargo and countless others as counterpoints to that claim! Where is the evidence in favor? Don’t abandon your critical thinking skills easily. Observe the evidence, think critically, and draw valid conclusions based on evidence not preconceptions.
**This is my essay, not a comment on someone else’s. I might have wrote it in the wrong spot. If I did, could you let me know where to write my essay responses in the future? Thank you so much.**
If a friend asks you to let her cheat off you, then is she truly your friend? That’s what I would ask myself in this situation. A true friend doesn’t just think about benefiting themselves, while ignoring the possible consequences you face. I would not let my friend cheat off me for multiple reasons. I would not want to enable her to think that cheating is okay, and that “cheaters” could ever belong in a prestigious school that requires an entrance exam to get in. I don’t think that saving a friendship is worth the risk of the consequences that could follow for cheating. Furthermore, I would no longer consider that person a true friend of mine, and my conscience would weigh down on me every time I saw her at school.
Firstly, I would not let my friend cheat off me for a test because it would lead to her to believe that cheating was okay, and it would not make her change. Cheating on anything is very serious, and I wouldn’t want my friend to take it lightly, or further assume that I would let her cheat off me on future tests. Letting her cheat off me would mislead her into thinking that people who cheat can get into prestigious schools. There’s a chance that she may never ask to cheat again in her life, but the higher possibility is that cheating will become a habit of hers. Habits grow as we grow, and I would never want to enable that in anyone. Who knows whether she’ll cheat on her SAT’s, or any other exam? A person who believes in cheating, no matter how much of a genius they are, needs to learn to change. The prompt said she was the perfect fit for the school, but a horrible test taker. Reality is, life is full of tests in your way. Maybe you’ll be able to cheat your way through them, but the easier path is just to learn how to deal with it. In the future, hopefully, not letting her cheat was doing her a favor. It is more likely that if she failed the entrance exam, she’ll have more drive and passion to get over her nerves or whatever is preventing her from being a good test taker. Cheating is never a long term answer to a problem, and I think telling that to my friend is a much better option than letting her cheat off me “just this once.” One time could lead to “just one more” until it becomes a bad habit that she influenced on me.
Secondly, it would simply be too risky. The chance of getting caught completely overpowers that slim five percent chance or so of not getting caught. I would not want to risk my future and reputation just so that my friend could get into her dream school. If we got caught, the consequences would be extremely serious. Moreover, my family and other friends would be so disappointed in me. I have seen and experienced rumors traveling fast through out small towns and schools. If I let my friend cheat off me, it would not only affect us, but my family and my whole town. My family and school could be accused of “encouraging cheating” or “bad parenting.” I would feel so ashamed to make my parents and teachers have to go through the public eye if word of me letting someone cheat got out. No matter how discreet we planned the cheating process out, the consequences would be brutal. It could go on both our permanent records, and really affect us long term. As you can see, cheating is not worth the consequences that follow.
Lastly, besides the physical consequences, cheating would affect my mental state and emotions forever. I have the biggest conscience ever, and I can’t even go past a piece of litter on the streets of New York City without feeling bad about not picking it up. The guilt I would experience after the test would completely alter my mood, and really affect me in a negative way. Assuming that we both got in to the school, I would not be able to enjoy anything. My mind would probably be too focused on what could happen if somebody ever found out, and I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on learning. Every time I passed by that friend in the hallway or saw her in class, it would just remind me of what I did to make sure she made it in. I would experience so much remorse that I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. In the future, this would not be helpful to my well-being. I would probably become depressed and maybe even cause harm myself. My life would basically be ruined forever just because of one bad choice I made to help out a friend. We might not have even been friends anymore at that point, because true friends don’t ask you to let them cheat of you.
All in all, I would never give in to letting my friend cheat off me. This would be the better choice for the well being of the both of us. She would not get into a habit of cheating, and she would possibly understand that cheating is wrong, no matter what the circumstances are. Additionally, the consequences at risk are both physical and mental. We could get into all kinds of trouble if we were caught cheating, and my mind would not be able to handle the insurmountable amount of guilt that would weigh in me forever. You might think that I’m just looking after myself, and maybe I’m being selfish because I don’t want to help out a friend. However, if you think about it deeply, I would be declining because I care for my friend. It’s important to me that she learns that cheating is not tolerable, and more importantly, get over whatever obstacles are preventing her from taking tests well. I would want people to see her true potential, and get past entrance exams and any other test that she faces. Saying no was the right answer for me and her.
How long did that take to write? It is an enormous volume of effort. I like the organization and your writing is good, but there is a lot going on in the first body paragraph for example. You make a number of statements and do not offer evidence for any of them. That is typical for this essay prompt perhaps because people base their reply on morals they have been taught, but never had to test against any evidence. For example, people who do cheat can get into prestigious schools. I disagree with that statement. Why does a person who believes in cheating need to change? There is plenty of evidence cheaters prosper in our society so I would disagree with that statement. The easier path is to not cheat. I suspect that is also not true or else your friend would have worked harder to study. Lastly, will your friend really have more drive and passion if she does not cheat? Why? What evidence is there for this or any of the above claims in the first body paragraph? There isn’t really any evidence provided. You just assume your statements are general truths and it is easy to do this because the topic is one that crosses the boundary into most people’s belief systems which means you, like most, probably do not even notice that little evidence has been provided for your case. You, however, want to enter a school focused on the scientific method so it needs to be applied. There needs to be solid examples and evidence to support your thesis. I think you improve on that some in later paras. This is a good attempt overall on a seemingly easy yet difficult prompt.
Thank you for the advice. I’ll work on improving my essays. By the way, this essay took me about 30-40 minutes.
I wouldn’t let my friend cheat off me because it goes against my morals, and she might not be a good friend, or even the right fit for the school.
I believe in being a moral person, and getting involved with cheating goes against my morals. Even if I didn’t get caught, I would regret my actions and be full of guilt later on. I would rethink everything about our friendship, and may decide that I don’t need that kind of friend.
If she wanted to cheat off me, she might not be that good of a friend, or even a friend at all. She is using me to get a better score on the test. If she is constantly taking advantage of me for her personal good at my risk, our friendship wouldn’t be mutual. She wouldn’t help me, but I’d help her. In my opinion, a one-sided friendship isn’t a friendship at all.
Also, this school seems to be academically challenging. Chances are, if she can’t pass the entrance test, then she can’t pass other tests in the school, or retain good grades. Even if she initially gets accepted, she won’t be a good fit for the school, and probably won’t stay at that school for long.
In conclusion, I wouldn’t help her cheat. Not only is it the wrong thing to do, but it’s also not beneficial to me. Since she is a poor test taker, there’d be little benefit to her, either. She is using me, and isn’t a real friend. There is great risk and little reward, and that option isn’t one I would take.
If a friend begged you to cheat off you for an entrance test to a prestigious school, what would you do? I wouldn’t let my friend cheat off me because it goes against my morals. I always try to do the right thing, and, no matter how close of a friend she may be, I would still refuse. I would start questioning whether she is really a good friend to me, or even the right fit for the school.
I believe in being a moral person, and getting involved with cheating goes against my morals. Even if I didn’t get caught, I would regret my actions and be full of guilt later on. I would eventually tell someone, which may result in huge consequences for both me and my friend. Even if she got in, she might be expelled if people learned that she was cheating. This would also likely shatter our friendship, but I would probably be fine with that. I would rethink everything about our friendship, and would probably decide that I don’t need a friend like her. While I value friendship, I only value real friends who I can trust. Any friend that asks me to go against my morals isn’t a friend.
If she wanted to cheat off me, she might not be that good of a friend, or even a friend at all. She has bad intentions, and is willing to risk me getting in trouble for her personal benefit. This shows that she cares very little about me personally, and is totally fine with me getting in trouble. She is using me to get a better score on the test. A true friend would understand that I shouldn’t and wouldn’t help them in that way, and wouldn’t ask for such a favor. They would know that there are lines not to cross, and that is one of them. However, she simply doesn’t care. She wants to get accepted badly, and cares more about that than about me. True friends would never think that. In my opinion, a one-sided friendship isn’t a friendship at all.
Also, this school seems to be academically challenging. Chances are, if she can’t pass the entrance test, then she can’t pass other tests in the school, or retain good grades. Even if she initially gets accepted, she won’t be a good fit for the school, and probably won’t stay at that school for long. Someone willing to cheat their way through life may seem successful at first, but will eventually get caught, and severely punished. No matter how sneaky she is, she still will be at a loss. Someone who actually put in the time and dedication to do well fairly on the tests will learn more, and be more prepared for college and beyond. Grades and scores on tests wouldn’t really matter for her then. If she doesn’t learn enough to pass tests, she won’t be able to pass the greatest test of all- life.
In conclusion, I wouldn’t help anyone, even my closest friends, cheat off me for a test. Not only is it the wrong thing to do, but it’s also not beneficial to me. Since she is a poor test taker, there’d be little benefit to her, either. She is using me at my expense, and isn’t a real friend to me. There is great risk and little reward, and that option isn’t one I would take.
Avoid the general “you” or “they” that frequently slips into writing at this age. Be specific. If you want to have dialogue directly with the reader then identify them more specifically. It is “whom” not “who I can trust”, but overall cleanly written in an active voice without awkward sentences or errors. The 3rd body paragraph is an interesting point, but there is no evidence to support your claim. Is it not possible she could cheat and still be accepted and do well? You again slip into the general “someone” argument which usually means the writer has a preconception and no evidence to support his/her case. There are myriad examples of cheaters getting caught with no consequences from sports stars to politicians to business and financial leaders. There are perhaps many others who never get caught. This statement flies in the face of evidence to the contrary. You need to support your statement with evidence, not preconceived notions. Show the reader one example. Fortunately, this is the last and perhaps least important body paragraph so any shortcomings do not jump out to the reader. Very good job overall.
If my friend asked to cheat off my test to get into a prestigious school, I would immediately decline her request. Not just for an entrance test for a prestigious school, but for any test whatsoever. It blatantly goes against school policy, and if they were a true friend to me, they would never ask me to give up my morals and everything I believe is right. Also, just because my friend is a bad test taker does not give her the right to cheat. In fact, bad test taking skills could lead me to think that she is not the right fit for this school.
A school’s policy is the grounds and basis for all of the school’s laws and rules. My school has a very strict policy against cheating. This is because they want to ensure that education is as fair as possible for all students. If one student is allowed to cheat, where does that draw the line? Why does that student get privileges not applicable to other students? Schools put these policies in place for a good reason. Though education is not completely fair to everyone, it is a school’s duty to make it as fair as possible. The fact that she is the only friend that I have at the new school, if I am accepted, does not warrant her, nor I, to go above the system
Additionally, A true friend would not ask me to give up my morals for the sole purpose of benefiting her. I do not believe that cheating is right. It is dishonest, and it is manipulative to make someone believe that you have scored better than you should have on a test. I would never cheat on a test, and the fact that it would even cross my friends mind to cheat, disgusts me.
Furthermore, if this, so called, “friend,” does manage to creep her way into this prestigious school, it is not logical to think that she will never have to take another test again. A lack of test taking skills would most definitely make her a bad fit for this school. It could be, that she becomes accustomed to cheating and continues to cheat on every test, upon admission into the school. I would not like to be apart of this process in any way.
In conclusion, I would never let anyone, friend or not, cheat off of me. It goes against the school’s very important policy, not to mention, that is morally wrong. Also, a bad test taker does not deserve to bypass the rules for entrance into a prestigious school. If my friend decides to cheat, I believe she deserves to get caught because she is not above anyone else. Many people work and study hard to take exams and she does not deserve to be above them.
“Not just for an entrance test for a prestigious school, but for any test whatsoever.” This could be a continuation of the previous sentence, but it is not a stand alone sentence. Make sure your first few lines (your first impression to the reader/grader) are clean, clear, and without error.Rather than “they” perhaps refer to your friend by name. Be specific. It makes your essay seem more real and genuine. I like the idea of the first paragraph…interesting case to argue, but what if the system is flawed. What if your friend didn’t go to your school and the system cheated her out of learning how to take tests well? Would not her cheating balance the scales? In point of fact, there are far more students in the world who are cheated of the opportunity to get a top quality education in the first place. Perhaps they should be allowed to level the playing field? Excellent essay; clean, clear, and to the point. You got me to question the points you discuss which means whether I agree or not you did your job exceedingly well as a writer.
Raiyaan shaik
“Hey Raiyaan, can you help me please cheat on this test please just this once!” exclaimed my friend as we walked to the test room for a prestigious school. Many people are faced in this circumstance all day. However, if my friend asked me to help them cheat on a test I would decline them quicker than a heartbeat. There are many reasons why I wouldn’t let my friend cheat of me on a test, but these are just few of them. I wouldn’t let them cheat of me because cheating would go against my morals and ethics, a guilty conscience would perch in my soul and finally he or she wouldn’t be a good friend if they asked you to go against your morals and beliefs.
To illustrate one of my points we can start of by defining my morals and ethics. My morals are based on the lines of being honest and not cheating. If I were to let my friend cheat of my this would definitely go against my morals because cheating is not a sign of honesty. As a man once said, “ Circumstances dictate your set of values, your set of morals.” If my circumstance was my friend asking me to cheat then I would stick my ground and not let him or her cheat of me. Thus, a reason for me not letting my friend cheat of the exam is that it would go against my morals and ethics.
To add on, if helped my friend cheat I wouldn’t be able to survive the guilty conscience in my soul if he got accepted into the school. If he or she did get accepted into the school, I would not only be cheating with my friend and I but also the whole school. If helped my friend get accepted into the school a guilty conscience would perch in my soul just like a bird in her nest. I would go to school everyday with a voice in the back of my head saying that I did something very dishonest and that it would add on to my list of bad decisions. Also, if did help my friend cheat on the test there would be a chance that I would be caught red handed and my reputation and my integrity would all go down the drain in less than a minute and I would have no chance in the future neither would my friend. As a man once said “A clear conscience makes the softest pillow.” I helped my friend cheat I might be able to live it down but not with proudness. Hence,this is another reason why I wouldn’t allow myself to help my friend cheat of me: because I would live with a guilty conscience for the rest of my life.
In addition, if your friend is asking you to cheat on a test is he or she really your friend? If you can answer that question and say yes then your off the hook and left with a ‘good’ friend. However, if my friend asked me to cheat I would not only say no to him but I would also cut off my friendship with him or her for awhile till they realize their mistake. A true friend wouldn’t ask me to let down my morals which I have already established are to be honest and not cheat. Who know he or she might even be using you to their advantage and once they get accepted might dump you behind. The worst thing that can happen if I let a friend cheat of me is my ‘friend’ getting accepted and me being left behind even though I was the one who worked hard. Hence, this is another reason why I wouldn’t let my friend cheat off of me because I believe they aren’t a true friend at all.
Ultimately, even though cheating has gotten some people very far in life such as Alex Rodriguez, Hillary Clinton, and Donald Trump I believe it would get you far in life. If my friend asked me to help them cheat on the test I would say no. For one, cheating would go against my morals and ethics which are to be honest and never cheat or lie or to at least try. In addition, I wouldn’t help my friend cheat because I would have to live with a guilty conscience which again is durable but not favorable or in my liking. Also, I wouldn’t help my friend cheat because I wouldn’t they were a true friend after all if they are asking me to go against my morals. These are the reasons to why I would say no to my friend if he asked me to cheat.
I might kill the second sentence. Few people face that dilemma all day. I like the attempt to use imagery, but make sure it is clear and it works. Watch your spelling (and punctuation and grammar). There are too many errors and missing words throughout. That cannot happen on the exam. It is “pride” not proudness” You seem to be reaching and trying to force quotes in there and it causes you to miss the basics. Over and above sloppy spelling, your language slips into the passive voice. “a reason for me not letting my friend cheat of the exam is that it would go against my morals” Think carefully about what you are saying …in the totality…and then say it as simply and clearly to the reader as possible. What would a friend say to you if you spoke to them in that language? Would they understand you clearly? Why then do you suspect writing this way will be more successful? You could rephrase this to “because cheating is against my morals.” Think about the verbal gymnastics you went through above to say the same thing. Don’t do it. Keep it simple. Write active verbs only where you or the subject take action…not the action taken on you. I would review every sample and write another one or two and then edit it for that purpose only. Ask yourself if you could write every sentence with a better active verb and make it shorter and more to the point. Don’t let the sloppy errors like spelling and misused words or even missing words slip into your essay. Stay vigilant! Good luck.
Is it true how “cheaters never win?” If it is, however, then how would it be that, if I did allow my friend to cheat off of me, then she and I could both be accepted into a prestigious high school. In summary, both my friend and I are applying to a prestigious high school where applicants are required to take an admissions exam, and, because my friend is a poor test taker, she insists that I let her cheat off of me so that we could both get accepted into the school. However, I would not let my friend cheat off of me, even if it meant we would not get caught and we would both be in the same school. The fact that I could always be acquainted to new people at the high school, that I worked hard to prepare for the test, and the fact that it is unfair to the other candidates applying, all highlight as to why I should not cheat.
To begin, cheating is an undiscerning choice since I could always make new friends at the prestigious high school. To elaborate, because no one else from my middle school is applying, I would not have any friends going into the school. If I had allowed my friend to cheat off of me, then I would, therefore, have a friend going into high school. On the other hand, I could always meet new people that will be in my classes, thus forming new relationships. Clearly, allowing my friend to cheat off of me would be an unwise move because, although she would be the only one I know at first at the school, I could always make new friends.
In another sense, it would be wise not to allow my friend to cheat off of me since I actually worked hard to prepare. To elaborate, if, say, I did allow my friend to cheat off of me, then she would have no need to prepare in any way for the exam. I, on the other hand, would desire to work hard and study for the admissions test that I would want to pass for both her and I. To contradict, if I did work hard to prepare, and both my friend and I did get in, then she would have not have deserved to receive admissions since she was just relying on my hard work to get in. All in all, I would say no to having my friend cheat off of me since I actually worked hard to prepare and truthfully took the test, while she did nothing.
Correspondingly, it would not be fair to the other candidates applying to the school if I were to allow my friend to cheat off of me. To illustrate, fairness, in this scenario, is that, whether my fellow applicants studied or not, almost everyone truthfully took the test based off of their own knowledge and their own work. If I did allow my friend to cheat off of me, then she would not be honest with herself and her abilities since, even though she is not a good test taker, she used someone else’s work. The other candidates taking the test, however, are honest with themselves and fair to others since they performed the test to the best of their own abilities. In a word, my friend would not have my permission to cheat off of me since it would not be fair to the other applicants who honestly took the test.
In the final analysis, if my friend were to ask my permission to allow her to cheat off of me so that we could both get into this prestigious high school, then I would refuse. Although she would be the only other person I know who is applying, I could always meet new people at the school, the fact that I actually worked hard to prepare for the test, and it would not be fair to the other applicants, all demonstrate as to why I would choose not to cheat. On many occasions, one may have to choose between friendships and making the honest choice. In this situation, I had to do just that. Doing the right, or honest, thing is almost always difficult, but in the end, it never would have been right to have allowed my friend to cheat.
Avoid some of the passive sentences, but overall a very nice attempt; well organized, well supported arguments, nice transitions. I like the idea that you could meet new people. That is a unique and positive outlook. Keep up the effort. I do think you never answer your question up front, however, and prove that “cheater’s never win”. Sometimes they do. Would that change your reply?
Mr.Charles please finishing commenting on essay and when is the next class thank you.
note btw: I mostly kept my essay the same from when the time 2o minutes was up. I did not revise it a lot, I wanted to try to keep it as close to the original as possible, although I know there were some mistakes (and that I REALLY need to work on my active voice.)
Keep up the effort. improvement will come with practice.
If my friend were to ask me to help her in cheating, how would I react? I personally don’t believe in cheating. I think it is wrong, and even if you do receive a good grade your cheating yourself out of learning. If my fried were to ask me I would respond with no and give her this advice. To start with you are an excellent candidate further more they don’t only look at your test grades; even though we might not get caught it’s not worth the risk. I’ll suggest that if she truly feels uncomfortable that she should take the time out of her day and study.
First I would explain to her that she is an excellent student and person alike. she is an exemplary student and shouldn’t be fearful of this one test. Not to say she shouldn’t study or prepare for the test at all but just that if she happens to fail she has a good enough frame to back her up. This is because along with your test grades they also will look at your school grades and if they feel you will fit in nicely invite you back for an interview. even though the test might be a challenge you shouldn’t worry so much because you have a great background to assist you.
To second this I would have a guilty conscience if I were to help her in cheating. though we have a very small chance to get caught we still have a chance. Do you think that I would really be willing to jeopardize our chances. If we get caught then there is not way we will possibly be accepted into the school. In addition to this even if we did somehow pull it off I would be left with a guilty conscience. Though assisting friends may be good or healthy in the short term when you really glace into the long term there are very little benefits to doing so.
Lastly I would suggest to her that maybe she should instead of wasting time complaining about the test she should take the time out of her day and study. It’s as simple as that. If you study or practice for an exam you will become familiar with the test and all of the things on it. Familiarizing yourself with the exam will allow you to feel more comfortable with it and hopefully lead you to a better grade.
Cheating is morally and physically wrong and you shouldn’t do it. When cheating on a exam you have the change to jeopardize you and the friends your involved with. If you cheat on a test or something of the sort the only ting your truly cheating on is yourself. As I was always brought up to believe a seventy is always better than a zero.
Excellent points and they are organized in a strong outline, but you may want to focus on cleaning up the grammar throughout. I might say “help her cheat” instead of help her in cheating in the 1st sentence. I might eliminate the sentence that you do not believe in cheating. What does it mean? Cheating does exist so belief in the act is not open to cheating. I realize you are trying to say you believe it is wrong so just say that which you do in the following sentence. Avoid the redundancy. Do not repeat”if my friend asked me” again. No need. How about “I would tell her no and offer the following advice” and then list your 3 arguments. I like your positive attitude by explaining to her she is good enough. What is a “frame to back her up”? I think you want to say framework or frame to support her? It isn’t entirely clear and you want to be specific and clear in your essay. I might say “secondly” rather than “to second” to transition to the 2nd body paragraph. The grammar and punctuation declines materially in that 2nd body para. Be careful about “your” versus “you’re”. Are you a native english speaker? Your placement of verbs suggests to me you originally spoke a different language. Unfortunately, that makes my suggestions an extra difficult challenge to implement if true. Focus on keeping your sentences simple and use active verbs. Check your work and punctuation and spelling which is something you can control even if English grammar is not your native tongue. The ideas in the essay are very good. Your goal will be to clean up the execution and delivery.
Mr.Charles can you comment on the essay.
Hi Mr. Charles, could you please comment on the essay I wrote on December 28 under this prompt? My test is in a couple of days, so I think some feedback would really help. In addition, what and when are essay classes? So far, I’ve only been in math classes.
If my friend would like to cheat off me during a test which decides our future, I would say absolutely not. This school is for good and hard working students and if they are not good at test taking, it is more on their part to practice more and to get better. If you succeed to get into this school, you should be very proud of yourself on how much you practiced ad worked towards this moment. If my friend wanted to cheat off me during the exam, not only would they feel super guilty, but also feel they don’t belong at the school. Although we might not get caught cheating, it is a huge risk and if we get caught we will both get in trouble and now none of us have a chance to go to this school.
If my friend did make it into the school, although they would feel good that they made it in, but later on feel that they too the place of a student who would much rather deserve the place int the school. Not only is this wrong, but when someone else’s spot is taken when they worked twice as hard as my friend did, it shows that you should feel extremely guilty. If your friend made i in but you didn’t, you would not feel happy for them at all. It is like they stole your rightful spot at the place you worked way more hard to get to instead of them.
Once your friend might have made it into the school, and everyone is talking about how many hours they have put into getting there, your friend would fee terribly miserable that they took the spot of someone else who actually did deserve the spot. Plus, when your friend might have been hey only one to make out of us two, they would have no one they would know or to talk to. If your friend might have put in the same amount of time that you have, you would both feel that you did a great job to get here.
Finally, just the topic of cheating is a bad thing to do. Knowing that you cheated to do something is a feeling far more worse then those who are very happy that they studied and succeeded the right way unlike those who cheat. Even if someone wanted to cheat off me and there was no possible way to get caught, it is just not right. When yo cheat and get a good grade, you are expected that you know the whole topic. But in reality you don’t. When someone asks you a question about the topic and you don’t know, your reputation will go way down if you are known for the “good grades.”
When you are asked to be cheated off of in any situation, what you should take away with you as a thought is that it is never the right thing to do. Especially in this case as you are competing against others for a spot in a great school.
If you see anything that I should work on doing better for the actual BCA essay test,please respond, it would be a great help.
Thanks
Overall, your essay seems very nicely written.
I have a few suggestions, though:
– I would try to write a clear three point thesis.
– I would expand on you conclusion if possible:
Hi,
I’ve typed up my essay below exactly as I wrote it. I took 30 minutes. I would appreciate any suggestions or comments. Thanks!
Many schools wish to have good test takers attend their school, in addition, to well- rounded students. Therefore, cheating on the test would defy this purpose. In addition, my friend could hit roadblocks in this school because she might not truly be fit for it. Overall, it would be pointless to cheat on a test, let alone mention bad morals.
Only a strong character can endure anything that is thrown its way. Cheating on one test, due to ebbing morals could lead to a life time of problems. Not to mention, one will have to live with its conscious always reminding them of their mistake. The best way to accomplish things is the long route, with time and sweat, because this way, one will never get a ticket.
To sum up, one should never cheat. I would help my friend study hard for the test, and with practice she could improve. Cheating should never be an option; because it makes the exam pointless and displays a lack of integrity. To put it in a nutshell, is a lifetime of guilty conscious a fair price to pay for helping a friend in a wrong way?
I think your supporting arguments include good, sensible points and you organize then reasonably well. You would not help your friend because it defeats the purpose of the test and it displays bad moral judgment. I suggest that more supporting detail or evidence needs to be provided, however. It is not enough just to make reasonable claims, but you must answer why they are reasonable. For example, I can play devil’s advocate and respond to the first point by stating that the goal of the school may not always match the goal of the student which is to advance their personal future. I do not think you have adequately supported the statement that cheating is pointless. Further, a test may be a flawed measure in itself, so why should anyone adhere to the rules of a flawed measure? On the second point, morals, how do you define morals and strong character? You assume there is an absolute single moral system that everyone knows without explaining your moral code. My moral code may be different thus undermining your entire argument. The point
of these comments is to make sure you recognize and define assumptions you make and then clearly support those defined claims with evidence and perhaps even a rebuttal to possible common counter arguments. The result will be more meat to your essay and a stronger case.
I like the attempt to compare the best way to success as a long route with hard work, but the sentence itself has some shortcomings which highlight several of the grammatical mistakes that need correcting in the essay. I would use more precise language than ‘things’ and say ‘success’. No comma after ‘way’. Why would one get a ticket? This can be lost on the reader. If it is because they are trying to race through a short cut, then say that too. Away from that sentence, watch some similar points. I think you mean ‘conscience’ not ‘conscious’; they are two different things. Punctuation in your opening sentence should be Life is full of tests: driving tests, math tests, etc. Use a colon to precede a list not a period. The list does not stand alone as a complete sentence. I suggest looking up online to learn more about when and how to properly use commas, how to combine independent clauses, and dependent clauses etc. These are common mistakes that a little extra knowledge will help resolve in large part.
Good start. Keep it up!
Hi Matthew,
Thanks for your feedback. I appreciate it very much and will try to apply them in my upcoming practice essays.
*** Anushka Nair *** ( please feel free to point out any suggestion to help me improve my essay, I wrote this essay in 50 minutes )
When my friend asked me to help her cheat on the entrance exam to qualify for the prestigious school, I was shocked and upset. I couldn’t believe that she asked me to go against my morals. From a young age, I was always told to never cheat despite the circumstances. No matter how close you are to a friend or family member, cheating is never an option.
The first reason I wouldn’t want to help her cheat would be because I would betray the school, I would be applying for. If I help her cheat, the school would lose their respect for having honest and genuine students. I would always have a guilt inside of me because I would be contributing lazy students in the school. I would always enter the school with having my conscience telling me that I have done a disgusting sin. If I assisted my friend in cheating, I would have never forgiven myself. Besides betraying the school, I would have betrayed myself and my principles.
The next reason why I wouldn’t help cheat would be because, if I helped my friend cheat, she would always require help from someone else. Even if I wasn’t with her to help her, she would trick someone to help her cheat. As there is a wise quote, ” If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day; if you teach a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime.” In this case, I would tutor my friend and help her study for the entrance exam. In this way, I would help my friend gain knowledge for life.
The last reason why I wouldn’t help her cheat would be because if I got caught, I would get punished for doing such a sinful action. I would lose my dignity from my friends, family, teachers, and myself. By not helping to cheat, I would help my friend realize that if you work hard and persistently, you can achieve anything. I would never want a friend to use me as an advantage because of our friendship. Even though I wouldn’t know anyone applying to the school, I rather would make new friends who are sincere and honest.
Coming to a conclusion, I would never let my friend cheat off me. Despite the situation, I wouldn’t go against my morals and beliefs. No matter how nice a friend appears to be, I wouldn’t
risk my education and future to commit a huge misdeed for my friend. Learning is a gift, in which our failure is our teacher. Every failure of ours takes us one step higher. To wrap it all together, I would never help a friend cheat because it is too risky to save a friendship and because it goes against my morals of honesty and perseverance.
The first reason I wouldn’t want to help her cheat would be because I would betray the school, I would be applying for. If I help her cheat, the school would lose their respect for having honest and genuine students. I would always have a guilt inside of me because I would be contributing lazy students in the school. I would always enter the school with having my conscience telling me that I have done a disgusting sin. If I assisted my friend in cheating, I would have never forgiven myself. Besides betraying the school, I would have betrayed myself and my principles.
The next reason why I wouldn’t help cheat would be because, if I helped my friend cheat, she would always require help from someone else. Even if I wasn’t with her to help her, she would trick someone to help her cheat. As there is a wise quote, ” If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day; if you teach a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime.” In this case, I would tutor my friend and help her study for the entrance exam. In this way, I would help my friend gain knowledge for life.
The last reason why I wouldn’t help her cheat would be because if I got caught, I would get punished for doing such a sinful action. I would lose my dignity from my friends, family, teachers, and myself. By not helping to cheat, I would help my friend realize that if you work hard and persistently, you can achieve anything. I would never want a friend to use me as an advantage because of our friendship. Even though I wouldn’t know anyone applying to the school, I rather would make new friends who are sincere and honest.
Coming to a conclusion, I would never let my friend cheat off me. Despite the situation, I wouldn’t go against my morals and beliefs. No matter how nice a friend appears to be, I wouldn’t
risk my education and future to commit a huge misdeed for my friend. Learning is a gift, in which our failure is our teacher. Every failure of ours takes us one step higher. To wrap it all together, I would never help a friend cheat because it is too risky to save a friendship and because it goes against my morals of honesty and perseverance.
“If I help her cheat, the school would lose their respect for having honest and genuine students. I would always have a guilt inside of me because I would be contributing lazy students in the school. I would always enter the school with having my conscience telling me that I have done a disgusting sin. ” All these sentences follow the pattern — 1st part — 2nd part with preposition and gerund (-ing verb form). This style is not concise. Can you avoid the -ing verbs? e.g. “I would always enter the school with a guilty conscience and feel I had committed a horrible sin.”
No need to say “coming to a conclusion at the end. Otherwise, I like the organization of ideas and your thought process. The sturcture of your argument is solid and powerful.
Thank you so much and I will incorporate your feedback into my essays.
If you did let your friend cheat off of you, the guilt would consume you in a matter of days. Knowing that your friend did not rightfully get accepted is a burden that you should not have to carry. The knowledge would weigh you down. It would always be secretly lurking in that dark back corner of your brain, ready to explode out of you at any moment like a ticking time bomb. Guilt is not a good look on your conscience, and you would have to wear the sullen look for the next four years at that school with your manipulative friend. Your weighed-down conscience would never be set free if your friend was accepted because of your answers.
Your undeserving accomplice would be unrightfully admitted into the school and taking away somebody else’s spot. Other students studied and worked hard to prepare for the entrance exams. The fact that your friend is able to get by to the interview portion with little to no work is absolutely absurd. You should let the diligent learners get the recognition they deserve. In addition, a prestigious school is not filled with cheaters; it is filled with honest, competent children that know right from wrong. Your friend does not deserve to be there with the rest of them if they cannot be accepted on their own. Do not let them infiltrate the system that way. They should not be given the chance to take another student’s spot that can do better things at that school by entering it in the right way.
The consequences of getting caught for cheating are serious and certainly not taken lightly. The repercussions are sure to end your chances of attending your desired school. All because of one negative decision, you could be throwing your entire future away. The top-notch education, the ivy-league colleges, and the profound new experiences are all out of sight. One disciplinary action such as cheating on your official record could end all of your dreams. Your honesty, integrity, and ability to make correct decisions go flying out the window as soon as colleges notice your past behavior. If you let your friend cheat off of you, it would end both of your careers and your college educations in an instant.
Because of the overpowering guilt, the fact that you are taking somebody else’s hard-earned spot, and the risk of getting caught, you should never let a friend cheat off of you. Although some students let their friends cheat off of them because the chance of them getting caught is low, the consequences if they are caught are serious. In the end, the risk is not worth it. After the right and wrong sides battled it out in her head, Lily made the definitive decision. She turned to Ava, held her chin up high, and confidently proclaimed, “No.” She whirled around and walked in the other direction. She could not be friends with a cheater. She controlled the peer pressure.
I like the style of your writing including the hook at the beginning, the attempt to put the reader into the decision process, and the transition from succumbing to peer pressure to the cheeky reply at the end with a lesson learned for the reader. Nice touches. The punctuation and organization of your argument are effective for the purpose. Excellent job!
My limited suggestions would be a s follows. Who is “you” throughout? Is it the reader? Is it you the essay author who is asked to respond to the prompt? Perhaps you can be more clear. Also, you make various claims and assumptions that may not be justified. This comment is more about evidence and logical structure than writing mechanics. Would the guilt necessarily consume everyone? How do you know the school is filled with honest, competent children who know right from wrong. A lot of brilliant people undertake unethical behavior. A lot of top universities and other schools accept people for reasons other than test scores. How do you know somebody who cheats on an exam would not do wonderful things for the school. Perhaps her personality would uniquely improve school spirit to the benefit of everyone. Would getting caught actually end your educational career? There is no indication this admissions exam is even recorded anywhere on a student’s record. It is easy to make popular claims that seem legitimate, but it is a lot harder to recognize these claims all must be supported by evidence. Extending this idea further, the scientific method gives no heed to popular or easily accepted ideas. Evidence is required for any claim or the claim can be discounted as easily as it is made.
Thank you for your suggestions! I do have one question: how would I support my claims with evidence if there are no sources provided? I want to simulate how I would actually take the entrance exam, so will they give me more sources and evidence on the exam?
Yes, expect to get a passage on the exam from which you will have to pull evidence and examples. There are other prompts that do provide that evidence. I would start there for practice.
This is my essay that I wrote in about 30-40 minutes:
First, I try to be an honest person and surround myself with honest people. If I let Joe cheat off of me, he would not get in honestly. When the first day of school comes around for the prestigious school, I would have the nagging feeling that Joe should not be here. I could never live with myself if I let Joe into the school based on my smarts and not his. For the rest of my life I would have to live with the fact that I let my friend cheat off me. I would feel so dishonest with myself, a feeling that I know is a bad one. For example, at my sleep-away camp, I skipped an activity, and I felt so dishonest. I had broken a belief, ruined my good nature. I do not want to make that mistake with Joe. Let him get in on his own, honestly taking the test.
Next, Joe is being selfish, taking advantage of my smarts to get into the school. Again, this goes against my morals. I would be adding to the selfishness by encouraging cheating off of me. It would be adding to my desire of going to school with him for another few years. However, I could never let that happen to myself. I need to set boundaries, and make sure I am selfless, helping himself and me. It helps me by getting in on my own right, and it helps Joe, as he can feel accomplished, that he used his own smarts to get into the school. I would not abandon my selflessness by selfishly letting him cheat off of me.
Finally, I want to do the right choice of action. Is it right to let Joe cheat off of me? NO. Doing the right thing is arguably the biggest moral of all (as it defines all of my life choices), and to leave it behind just to get Joe in some prestigious school with me? This is something I could never do. At this point, I would have to reconsider my friendship with Joe, as he wants to do an immoral action. So, the right choice is to let Joe get into the school on his own smarts. Ignore him on test day, and let him just take it and get the results, whatever they may be. It will make the two of us feel good, that we have done the right option. Not letting him cheat is the right choice.
Overall, I could never let Joe cheat off of me. It goes against my values and morals: being honest, selfless, and doing the right thing at all crossroads. These reasons summarize my feelings towards why I wouldn’t help Joe.
Okay, well written, somewhat safe approach to the essay. I can’t argue against your morals — they are your own — and they are presented in a clear, organized fashion. But being honest, how would you address these counterpoints? Being honest also means telling your friend he is a failure at taking tests and will not get in. Is that moral? Where do you draw the line, and from where do you source morality? Isn’t everyone selfish to some degree — every time you eat or breath or date the person you think is cute? Are you being honest by not trying to be selfish? Last, but not least, don’t cheaters prosper? Look at the evidence — that precept STEM is based on regardless of whether we like or approve of the evidence and its results. What if for every example of somebody who didn’t prosper cheating, I can cite ten examples of those who did. If so, aren’t you arguing against the evidence?
Okay, that is too many counterpoints, but I like your writing. It is a refreshing style and well done, which bodes well for you. I think you could take more risks but maybe not on test day. Good luck!
Thanks so much!
Even from my early childhood, my parents had drilled the fact that cheating is never the answer into my brain. They had always told me that you should only put what you know on the test and not what the others know. Coming from these ideas, I would also believe that allowing someone to chat off of you is also never the answer. Even if the other person is overqualified than me, I definitely beat them when it come to the aspect of test taking. Also, allowing even my friend to cheat off me will leave me with a guilty conscience until the acceptance letters are distributed.
I have already taken a tractor load of stress in studying for the entrance test, so I would not want it to continue until the results are sent out. Allowing my friend to cheat off of me will leave me with the impression that I have taken part in wrongdoing which will get me back unexpectedly. If by any chance, I don’t receive acceptance into the school, I would think that it was because I was seen on camera giving answers. Even though this may not be the case, I will still have this thought stabbing me at the back of my brain. In order for me to have mental peace and be confident with my performance at the test, I will not allow my friend to cheat off of me.
Many people can contradict and say that friends have to be there for each other during all times. They say that you friend really needs the answers, you should be a good friend and help them out. Do you have to cheat to be a friend? Is that the true meaning of what a true friend is? These are the question that I would ask my friend if he asks to cheat off of me on the test. I believe that friendship can be displayed in other “healthier” ways that do not include breaking one’s morals. The last time I checked, a friends don’t have to become cheats to be truthful to each other.
In conclusion, I will not allow my friend to cheat off me during the entrance exam. I believe that cheating is against my morals, and will leave me with a guilty conscience. Friendship is a bond between two people which has a meaning that goes deeper than allowing the other to cheat. In my opinion, a friend who likes to cheat is no friend at all.
I like the hook in the first sentence. The essay is not brief and yet well organized. We may want to review this in class. There are some style points that could help improve your high school level voice. See jfslate examples and think about the positive elements of that style. Are there aspects you can incorporate into your writing to help improve?
thank you, when can we review it
Although going to school with my friend would be fun, it would not blind me from the fact that with cheating, another person who actually deserved getting accepted into the school did not. A person who tried their best to get in by putting in the work did not get accepted because with my help, my friend was accepted instead. Due to this school being very prestigious, the application process deals with many things, such as the interview and the aptitude test. This aptitude test still is a part of the acceptance process, so to show my friend’s real strength and weaknesses, my friend should do it on their own. If my friend were to not become accepted due to the doing poorly on the aptitude test, then that would show that my friend was not capable enough to be accepted on their own. That would show that my friend would have to work harder, and it would also give an opportunity for someone who actually deserves to be accepted to get in the school, and it would be better for everyone.
Another reason why cheating wouldn’t be a wise thing to do is because if my friend were to be accepted into the school, my friend could end up struggling and not performing well. Due to the higher expectations of the school, my friend could get by doing well in the application process, but as the school year starts, the tests in the school could be too much for my friend, and it would show why my friend shouldn’t have been accepted in the first place. The false impression of the test could end up in my friend not doing well because frankly, the school was already too hard in the first place, showing another reason in why cheating shouldn’t be an option under these circumstances.
Under the impression that I did really let my friend copy off of my aptitude test, I wouldn’t really be doing my friend a favor, but I would actually only be encouraging my friend go on a darker path. If my friend cheated off of me on the aptitude test, who would stop any more of these actions. Since the first time there was no consequence, there would be a general idea of, “Oh, it wouldn’t hurt to do it a second time.” This would lead to a third time, then a fourth, then all of a sudden, my friend is caught cheating off a test and serves the punishment. Without starting the whole affair, my friend won’t be tempted to cheat, further showing why cheating wouldn’t be a good option.
All in all, if my friend asked to cheat off me during the test, my answer would to not oblige. There are too many reasons to state why cheating is not a good option in this situation and not enough good to come with cheating. The false impression of my friend, my friend struggling in school, as well as a bad example would be more than enough to stop myself from giving any answers to my friend who asks.
(Another version of this essay. I wrote it again for practice.)
“Would this be for the better or worse?” This is a question that comes to mind if a friend asked to cheat off me on the aptitude test. If the school we are applying to is so prestigious, wouldn’t it be ironic to cheat on the very first assignment? This school should be built upon students who are honest and hardworking. Furthermore, to enter this school, we should highlight our own capabilities and comprehensions of the different tasks, we should not prefer any shortcuts along the way, and we shouldn’t want to commence any unwanted habits through this “one-time act.” Through all these reasons, I wouldn’t allow my friend, no matter how close, copy off me in the aptitude test.
If my close friend were to ask to copy off me in the aptitude test, I would not accept their request. Although going to school with my friend would be interesting, it wouldn’t persuade me to aid my friend. The school is a prestigious one, which means that many other bright students are the competition. It would never be justified as right if my friend stole a spot from one of them, as one of the reasons why she was accepted was through my help. Furthermore, the aptitude test is still a major portion of the application process, so to demonstrate our own strengths and weaknesses, we shouldn’t rely on each other for help. By taking the test by herself, my friend would be able to know whether or not she fits into the program. Nevertheless, if she were to be rejected by the school, it wouldn’t matter as she is such a bright student who is capable of surely succeeding.
Another reason why I wouldn’t oblige to my friend’s wishes to cheat is that we shouldn’t start taking shortcuts to make things easier. If my friend were to become accepted, she most likely would struggle, as although she is a bright student, one of the reasons the test reviewers thought she could become accepted in the school was her test grade, which I helped her on. In other words, she wouldn’t expect the tremendous workload, and the false impression from the test could end up in the outcome that my friend would be placed in classes that she was too inexperienced in. Thus, I would end up harming her future academical success rather than helping.
If I did decide to allow my friend to cheat off me during the aptitude test, it would encourage her to continue to cheat. Because she wasn’t caught, my friend would likely be persuaded to undergo the same process over and over again, as she did not have the experience of becoming caught. Eventually, carelessness would be her downfall, as she faces the consequences. Although this is an exaggerate theory, is it possible for it to happen. To stay away from that possibility, I would not allow my friend to copy off me.
In conclusion, if my friend were to ask me for answers in the aptitude test, I would decline. The school we are applying to should teach only the best students that fit in, and the only way to comprehend my friend’s abilities is to let her take the test by herself. We shouldn’t go easy on ourselves, but instead, strive to do our best. In addition, we shouldn’t commit morally wrong deeds, for the school should be represented by honest and hardworking students. To accompany my friend in the act of cheating would put all those ideas to disappointment.
Charles or Matthew, it’s been like three months. Please comment I would appreciate the feedback.
Thank you.
As your friend slyly glances over at your marked paper, the guilt and anticipation rises, with numerous thoughts roaming around in your head. You are asking the inevitable “What if?” questions that always linger in a time of anticipation. “What if I fail this exam?” These questions inevitably appear when you are clearly allowing your companion to cheat off of your answers. If I was asked to give my hard work to someone else, I would decline because it would not help me, it would only make me feel guilty, and it would not assist the other person in any matter.
I would decline this favor because it would not assist me. For example, despite studying for numerous nights and being extremely studious, I should not bestow the hard-work to my companion even though she has helped me. My companion is required to take the test based on her level of work and studying that she completed. Although, the friend may feel a sense of betrayal, I would be positive that I would be making the right choice. Also, in this type of situation, I have to do anything that makes me succeed–even if it means to hurt your friend’s friendship. Surrounding ourselves with the people that leech off of other people will not help us–it may harm us perpetually. My hard work is privately reserved for my successes and failures. Clearly, I oppose this request because it does not help me.
I would decline this favor because it would make me feel guilty. For instance, committing an action filled with anticipation and guilt is not healthy and may cause further consequences that can severely affect me. Although there is a low percentage in being caught, there is a possibility for ever single incident or circumstance. If I was caught doing this unrighteous actions, my friends and families would be disappointed in me, and would not regard me as a righteous student anymore. Despite taking risks, being safe is the correct path to travel on despite any threats or problems–there is always a way to settle on the right road. The amount of guilt would haunt me after the test, and I would regret every single action that I performed. The haunting of these evil thoughts could encompass me into an abyss of solitude and misery. Small, unrighteous actions similar to these, lead to no benefit, and eventually a dead end. Distinctly, I would reject this request because it would make me feel ashamed.
I would oppose this question because it does not help my friend. Although I am aware of her secrets, weaknesses, and strengths, it does not give me the opportunity to help her something extremely unrighteous. If I was her real friend, that extremely cared for her, I would inform her that she needs to improve her weaknesses in order to become successful later in life. The high school is an opportunity for her to improve her skills and continually improve until she arrives at other tests similar to the test in the high school–SATs. Although she may ask me for help, I would not completely do her work for her, for she needs to have the ability to take a test. Her gateway to success would start with failures and successes. Clearly, I would reject my companion’s question because it would not help my friend.
I would immediately decline this request because it would not help me, it would make me feel ashamed of myself, and it would not assist my friend in any matter. Although, there is a small possibility of becoming students at the school through this process, there is a possibility that I could be caught, and it would make me feel guilty, and not assist myself or my companion. Through the successes and failures that may friend and I would later experience, we would become successful through our righteous actions.